Breaking Free: Three key strategies to protect your workstyle
Breaking free: three key strategies to protect your workstyle
Great news. You’ve broken free of traditional thinking and of the industrial era 9-5 (or more likely, 8-6). Now you’re ready to define your own workstyle.
But now you face a new challenge - it’s up to YOU to set and maintain your working boundaries.
And that’s not as easy as it might seem. Why?
Because we’re people pleasers
We learn it from a young age. We’re taught we need to please others, facing a parent or teacher’s disapproval if we don’t. As adults, we know it’s good to put others first, terrified of being labelled ‘selfish’.
So mindful of the risks of selfishness, we give almost everything of ourselves to other people, believing this meekness and self surrender is really kindness and virtue.
This is what you’ve done when you’ve stuck at a job for too long, waiting in vain for your talent to be rewarded. Do you remember being surprised that your sacrifice was taken for granted?
It’s vital to understand that there are good versions of selfishness. Having the courage to prioritise our own workstyle over the constant notifications and deadlines of others can be A GOOD THING.
These three small steps will enable you to protect our own workstyle.
1 - Give yourself permission
Ask yourself the question ‘If I was more selfish I would…’. What is it that you’ve always wanted to do that has caused a quiet simmering frustration? Identify it and give yourself permission to pursue it. You’ll create a powerful, motivating force to defend your own workstyle.
2 - Learn how to say no
Don’t underestimate how difficult this is, but also remember that saying no is a skill that can be practised and perfected.
Try saying:
‘Let me get back to you on that’
‘I’ll have to check my workstyle (that day/week/month)’’
‘I will have to check [my calendar, my to-do list, with my team]’
Then try to frame any new request which forces you out of your workstyle as a Positive No by using this simple three step formula:
Start by saying yes to something you need to prioritise instead (e.g. “it’s important for me to do this instead of what you’ve requested’)
Calmly and compassionately say no
Finish with another yes - suggest an alternative arrangement or way you can help (e.g. let me connect you with Sarah who might be able to help, or here’s a previous proposal which might help you’)
Remember, the secret to being one of the most successful people in the world is the ability to say no to almost anything!
“People think focus means saying yes to the thing you've got to focus on. But that's not what it means at all. It means saying no to the hundred other good ideas that there are. You have to pick carefully. I'm actually as proud of the things we haven't done as the things I have done. Innovation is saying no to 1,000 things.”
― Steve Jobs
"The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything."
― Warren Buffett
3 - Set some non-negotiable rules
Finally, get clear on your own priorities. There might be a time where that means studying long hours into the night to enable a career change, or taking on extra projects to save for a house or fund your children's education. And that’s OK.
However, be clear in your mind that career and financial security are just two pillars of a fulfilling and remarkable life (of 12, in case you’re interested according to LifeBook!)
Consider your broader life priorities - your health and fitness, intellectual stimulation or nurturing relationships - and define some rules that help you protect time for these activities.
Remember
Self sacrifice is not necessarily kindness. Find the good versions of selfishness that allow you to prioritise your workstyle and life goals. Learn the art of saying no.
If you don’t defend your own workstyle, and perhaps learn to be a bit more selfish, you might run the risk of turning into a really disagreeable person!
It’s up to all of us to set these rules for ourselves and our own workstyle. This doesn’t make us lazy or mad or callous. It helps us be more productive, more efficient and allows us to fulfil the real promise of our lives.